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Psst – you over there. (P.S. Emily Sweet – Premium Website They don’t.) Regardless, knowing everything there is to know about the female orgasm can make the experience much more pleasurable. Guess what? We’re going to talk about orgasms. Why? Well, there are probably a lot of things about the female orgasm that you probably don’t know. Specifically, the female orgasm. Some are facts that debunk all-too-common myths, like condoms prevent you from climaxing. Some of these facts about orgasms revolve around their mental and physical benefits, like an improved immune system and reduced pain.

So now’s the time to expand your knowledge. This is everything you ever wanted to know about an orgasm, and hopefully your next sexual experience will be your best one yet.

1. Orgasms can relieve pain.

When you have a headache, it’s pretty common to go to bed. But you shouldn’t be sleeping. This is largely due to the body’s release of oxytocin during orgasm, a chemical that facilitates bonding, relaxation, and other positive emotional states, she explains. “There is some evidence that orgasms can relieve all kinds of pain, including pain from arthritis, pain after surgery, and even pain during childbirth,” Lisa Stern, R.N., a nurse practitioner who works with Planned Parenthood in Los Angeles, tells Woman’s Day. Although the pain relief is often short-lived at about 8 to 10 minutes, Stern says that past research indicates even thinking about sex can help alleviate pain.

2. Using a condom doesn’t hamper your orgasm. But that’s not the case.

A lot of people think that because sex can often feel better without a condom that their orgasm will too. “In fact, condoms may help a couple spend more time having sex, as a man doesn’t have to ‘pull out’ quickly if he’s worried about ejaculating too soon.” If he’s resistant to wearing a condom because of lack of sensation, consider manual or oral stimulation before intercourse. “Women are equally likely to experience orgasm with or without a condom,” Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., a research scientist at Indiana University and author of Because It Feels Good, tells Woman’s Day.

3. It’s not easy for women to reach orgasm. Regardless of the reasons, it’s a good idea to talk to your doctor to rule out any other underlying roadblocks – be them physical or emotional. Reasons range from stress and anxiety to medical issues and past trauma, according to the study. So your inability to hit your climax is actually more common than you think. The issue is that there are so many reasons why a person may not be able to orgasm, that it’s hard to pinpoint your exact cause.

According to a 2018 study, 10 to 40% of women report having difficulty or an inability to reach orgasm. Another bit of research also found that age, arousal difficulty, and lubrication were the top reasons why women couldn’t orgasm.

4. The G-spot may not actually exist.

“The G-spot is a controversial topic,” Dr. Jodie Horton, MD, an advisor for Love Wellness, tells Woman’s Day. In 2012, a study declared that the G-spot was, in fact, real, and that it was composed of an upper pole (or head) and a lower pole (tail). Regardless, according to one study, more than half of women believe that the G-spot does exist. But a 2017 dissection of 13 female cadavers found no such structure. It also stated that it contained a sac with walls that resembled erectile tissue.

So what are people talking about when they talk about the G-spot? “It is believed that stimulation of the G-spot can indirectly stimulate the clitoris and vagina, leading to intense pleasure,” Dr. Horton says. So we may all just be stimulating our clitoris internally when we’re using our G-spot vibes. “At the same time, other females are not able to find it.” Well, one study suggests that the squishy tissue you feel when you insert your fingers against the inner wall of your vagina is your urethra tissue, which is surrounded by the arms of your clitoris.

One thing that is certain, though? If it feels good for you, it can’t be bad. So if you feel that stimulation of the part of your body that may or may not be your G-spot is getting you off, keep on stimulating!

5. Orgasm gets better with age. “[A recent survey showed that] 61 percent of women ages 18 to 24 experienced orgasm the last time they had sex, 65 percent of women in their 30s did, and about 70 percent of women in their 40s and 50s did.”

There are plenty of things to gripe about when it comes to age, but your sex life isn’t one of them. It turns out that as you get older, the quality and frequency of orgasms can improve, Dr. Herbenick says.

Although the survey didn’t indicate why exactly orgasms become easier with age, Dr. Herbenick says that it’s likely because older women are more sexually experienced, have more confidence in the bedroom, and aren’t afraid to speak up for what they want. There may also be more trust and intimacy involved if you’re in a long-term relationship, which can allow a woman to relax more and embrace the ride on the way to orgasm.

6. Mixing things up can help.

If you have trouble reaching orgasm during intercourse, consider switching things up, Dr. Herbenick says. “It is significantly easier for women to experience orgasm when they engage in a variety of sex acts as opposed to just one act,” she says. “For example, vaginal sex plus oral sex would be linked to a higher likelihood of orgasm than either one of them alone.” And remember, intercourse isn’t the only way to reach an orgasm – many women get off by using sex toys, either with their partners or totally solo.

7. Your self-esteem matters.

Research shows that how a woman feels about herself – including her genitalia – is linked to the quality of her orgasms. “As a women’s health clinician, I can vouch for the fact that every vagina looks different and there is no ‘perfect’ way for a vagina to look,” Stern says. “As long as your vagina is pain-free and you don’t have any abnormal discharge, sores or other medical problems, you can consider yourself healthy and normal.”

To increase your confidence (and, therefore, your orgasm potential), Stern says it’s important to talk to yourself in a positive, healthy manner, especially when thinking about your body. Getting to know every part of yourself is the first step toward feeling confident all over. One way to do that? (No repeats from the day before! ) Another trick: Pull out a hand mirror and take a look at what’s going on downstairs. Look in the mirror every day and say one thing you like about your body.

8. It may take more than 10 minutes to orgasm. In fact, most women require at least 13 minutes of sexual activity to climax. “If you find that your partner often reaches orgasm before you do, there are ways to help him slow down, like applying firm pressure around the base of the penis,” she says. If premature ejaculation is a concern, Stern recommends seeing a primary care doctor or urologist to find alternative techniques that can help.

Many women take longer to climax than their male partners, and that’s perfectly normal, Stern says.

9. You may not need genital stimulation to orgasm.

If you’ve ever felt supremely turned on and close to the edge of orgasm without vaginal or clitoral stimulation, you’re not alone. There are literal support groups online for people who experience “spontaneous orgasm” – or orgasms that occur without genital stimulation. The reason for why this happens is unclear, but a recent study out of Rutgers University may have a clue.

Using brain scans, researchers tracked which areas of the brain lit up during types of stimulation. When they were stimulated, the sensation traveled to the same part of the brain as the vagina, clitoris, and cervix, lighting up the same way that it would if those areas were being stimulated. So nipple stimulation might trigger uterine contractions, which then trigger the genital area of the brain. And while the genital-sensing brain areas in women roughly corresponded to the same areas in men, something else happened when they got to the nipples. Researchers have a reason for why this may happen: Stimulating the nipples releases oxytocin, which is the same hormone that triggers uterus contractions during labor.

10. More than 50% of women have faked an orgasm – and that’s OK. In fact, one study found that 58.8% of women have faked an orgasm at one point in their life.

Guess what? There are a lot of women who fake orgasms. And the reasons are all over the place: 57.1% wanted their partner to feel successful, 44.6% wanted sex to end, and 37.7% liked their partner and didn’t want them to feel bad. “Expressing our sexual needs has become taboo, especially for women,” Dr. Horton says. “Society has put a lot of pressure on women to have an orgasm, which can lead to performance anxiety and guilt.”

There is good news, though. That same study found that the most common reasons for no longer faking orgasms were all positives: 46.6% felt more comfortable with sex, whether or not an orgasm occurred; 35.3% felt more confident in themselves; and 34% felt like their partner accepted them and is happy with them even if they don’t have an orgasm. “It’s important to empower women to have orgasms on their own terms, but also understand that you can be satisfied sexually without having one, too.” “Having an open conversation about how we want to be touched and what gives us pleasure can lead to increased satisfaction in the bedroom,” Dr. Horton says.

11. Cannabis may help you orgasm, whether you apply it topically or ingest it. For one, cannabis is a vasodilator, which means that it opens blood vessels, increasing blood flow – which also happens when you’re aroused.

Although there isn’t a ton of research on how cannabis affects your sex life (it is, after all, still a schedule I drug in the US), there is a lot of compelling evidence to suggest that it might help increase libido and the ability to orgasm. In women, that is useful, because that blood flow also leads to natural lubrication. One study found that women who used cannabis before sex reported “satisfaction in the sexual domanis of drive, orgasm, lubrication, dyspareunia [pain during penetration], and overall sexual experience.”

In fact, cannabis’ability to blunt painful sensations while also enhancing pleasurable ones may give hope to those who suffer from ailments like vulvodynia and vaginismis.There is also evidence that points to cannabis can be useful in helping sexual assault survivors reclaim their sex life, as evidenced by its possible treatment for anxiety disorders. And even though the research is lacking, anecdotal evidence isn’t. Surveys show that plenty of folks are already leaning on cannabis to help enhance their time in the bedroom.

12. There are four stages of the female orgasm. The plateau phase happens when arousal increases and levels off,” says Dr. Horton. “The excitement phase is when arousal builds.

According to Dr. Horton, orgasm is broken down into four distinct stages: excitement, plateau, the actual orgasm, and the resolution. For example, you may cycle through excitement and plateau a few times before reaching orgasm. “This leads to the third phase: orgasm, which is the intense feeling of pleasure, followed by resolution, when arousal diminishes.” But some research shows that women may not go through those phases in that exact order.

And according to Dr. Horton, it’s possible to have more orgasms after the resolution phase, which is the one spot where women edge out over men. They need a rest after their resolution phase.

13. The most common type of orgasm comes from clitoral stimulation, not penetration.

If you’re not someone who can orgasm from vaginal penetration only, you’re not alone. And remember – you don’t have to have an orgasm during sex, either. In fact, one study showed that only 6% of women said they always had an orgasm during penetrative sex. That way you can just relax and enjoy yourself. Another study showed that 36.6% of women needed clitorial stimulation in order to achieve orgasm. Try some extended foreplay to get you off before sex actually kicks off. Positions like doggy or woman-on-top allow easy access to your clit, so you can stroke it while you’re having sex. There are a bunch of ways that you can incorporate clitoral stimulation into penetrative sex, though.

14. One study suggest that lesbians are orgasming more than all other women. In other words? More focus on foreplay! That same study found that women who orgasmed more frequently had sexual encounters that included deep kissing, manual genital stimulation, and/or oral sex in addition to vaginal intercourse.

You’ve probably heard of the orgasm gap between men and women – but there’s also, apparently, an orgasm gap between lesbians and bisexual and heterosexual women. And that, apparently, has to do with the type of sex they’re having. One study showed that 86% of lesbians reported usually having an orgasm, while only 66% of bisexual women and 65% of heterosexual women reported the same.

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